i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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