i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
