so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
