According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the day after is always just damage control
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Randomize
