I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
