Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So vagazzling was a success
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
