does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
