fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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