The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Come share oat with me in your robe
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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