He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
