Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
