and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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