If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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