new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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