So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
