It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
