hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
