i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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