Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
