I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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