Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
