Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
