I hate all girls vehemently.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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