I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
