maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
