dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
