I'm going to jail i love you
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i love accidental penises.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
whose ass print is on the piano?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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