question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
