Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
