Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
