you will always have a special place in my vag
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
