I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
