She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
