I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm just crazy horny about you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
