Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
time to smoke my breakfast
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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