either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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