I didn't shave. On purpose
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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