dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was born a porn star she said
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
