Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
