I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
