I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
