We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
