oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
