the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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