how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
