lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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