He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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