I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
