friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it glows. i had to have it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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