i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
