"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
