I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
